left my wallet in estacio sants.

yesterday we arrived at barcelona's estacio sants train station, exhausted after about 394723974 of being awake and travelling thousands of miles, ready to collapse in the 2 star luxury of albergue studio youth hostel. however, LITERALLY 5 MINS after we set foot off the coach, i found that my wallet had mysteriously disappeared out of my rucksack pocket. which means that all my euros, my bank card, blackwell's member card (i had loads of points too!), n.u.s, jimmy hat, and i.d are now no longer in my possession and some lucky spaniard is blowing 200 euros on sangria and heroin. it didn't help that the spanish police force are possibly the least competent and least helpful people in the actual world.

i didn't think i'd be able to relate to q-tip again after his showcase of new, really quite shocking material at glastonbury. now i can totally relate to his plight in el segundo. anyway, microwave lasagne and 27 cent beer calls, laters!

highbrow inanity part one.

sometimes, i wish i was this cool. courtesy of latfh

pretension is shit. a lot of the time really good things get ruined because too many smug twats like to parade around declaring how much they love that bit in that film more than you but its not as good as the book which they've read 27 times. to hit back at this i've decided to start a feature where basically i make inane comments about high culture.

VIVRE SA VIE

french fittie gets pimped out, talks about philosophical shit with some old geezer, then gets shot for trying to break out of da game. anna karina is well fit and i'd definitely pay to have sex with her.

NAKED LUNCH

"you got a problem with my buddy? i'll castrate the shit out of you"

guy takes a fuckload of smack and writes about all the crazy shit he sees. i mean he seriously goes crackers.

extract (verbatim): 

'Arab rioters yip and howl, castrating, disemboweling, throw burning gasoline ... Dancing boys striptease with intestines, women stick severed genitals in their cunts, grind, bump and flick it at the man of their choice ... Religious fanatics harangue the crowd from helicopters and rain stone tablets on their heads, inscribed with meaningless messages ... Leopard Men tear people to pieces with iron claws, coughing and grunting ... Kwakiutl Cannibal Society initiates bite off noses and ears ... A Coprophage calls for a plate, shits on it and eats the shit, exclaiming "Mmmm, that's my rich substance"'

oooo mr burroughs tell me a bedtime story.

swine flu just got worse.

seriously, where did it all go wrong for mike skinner? he's gone from original pirate material to generic corporate bollocks and still manages to churn out increasingly awful conceptual albums that make my skin crawl worse than those undead geezers in his video. someone should put him on a one way flight to mexico.